Sunday, 29 March 2015


Love is not proud

I've been avoiding this post. It's a topic I don't particularly enjoying talking about, despite the fact that I've referred to pride countless times in other posts. Somehow confronting it head on is a bit too difficult.

Reading Timothy Keller's book Counterfeit Gods I found myself immediately going on the defensive. If you haven't read the book (I recommend it) Keller discusses the subject of idolatry in a Christian context. He explains that when the Bible talks about idolatry it isn't just referring to the physical worship of idols, rather it is a matter of the heart. Essentially anything that replaces God in someone's heart, yes even a Christian, is an idol.

Our God is a jealoous God and He doesn't want to share us with other 'gods.' He wants us to trust Him completely and not turn to other things for our salvation, our deliverance, our sense of worth... He gives us all these things and more. But sometimes we deceive ourselves, or are deceived by others, and no longer trust God completely. We hide part of ourselves away and build our own little kingdoms where we are in control (supposedly). Satan loves that. He'll tempts us with false promises: "This is what you want, this is what you've been looking for all this time." And so we separate ourselves from God to get 'it,' whatever 'it' is. 

But we don't get it. Not really. It's all a lie. 

In discussing this with a close friend of mine I related my concerns about whether I had separated part of myself from God, set up my own little kingdom in my heart. Note this was a few years after reading Keller's book and largely dismissing any concerns because, quite frankly, I didn't want to think about it. My friend reflected on what I had said and then asked a very good question:

"What do you think you're getting out of it? The idol?"

Her point is that idols 'work', in the sense that we continue to hold to them and trust them, because we believe that we can get that 'it' out of them: success, power, sex, love, whatever. Satan will use this false belief to tempt us into continuing to trust the idol. We believe that we are in control and ultimately going to receive 'it.' But this is a lie. Albeit a very clever, very pervasive lie. Never forget that Satan is referred to as the "father of lies" for good reason.

So, what does all this have to do with pride? Better yet what on earth does it have to do with love not being proud? 

God's love and our pride don't mix. We don't deserve His love and His grace, given to us freely in love, leaves no room for pride (see my post on "love does not boast"). However pride and idolatry go very well together. Certainly in my case I was more than happy to say "I know better, God" (Pride Alert!) and go chasing after 'it' and away from God's love. 

While God is telling me that He loves me and that He can heal all the hurt, my pride says, "No, you're wrong." And this double mindedness, simulatenously believing in God's love in an abstract sense but refusing it in my life, allows sin to creep in. I separate part of myself, my heart, from God and set up my own little kingdom, my own heart-idol where I believe I can receive all the things I seek. I foolishly believe, in my pride, that God cannot give me these things. 

So, dear readers, this is what idolatry has to do with pride and love. 

God revealed these things to me over time (I suspect my pride may have slowed things down), eventually bringing me to a place where I was left with little choice but to confront it head on. I chose (thankfully) to submit myself to God and repent. This came in stages. Working out our salvation doesn't happen overnight. But I believe that I am now on the right path. I still have a choice, to trust God or to turn away. That choice isn't always easy but now I have that freedom of choice. Without the revelation of God I was unconscious of many of the things that were going on in my heart (and when God started to show me it was "easier" to ignore Him) and didn't really have a choice. I had surrendered part of my will to this heart-idol. 

This is a dangerous place to be. You only have to do a quick Google search on idolatry to see how incredibly serious it is. But take heart, God is greater than all things.

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in the time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)

I couldn't decide between the awesome Hebrews verse and this fantastic promise. So I chose both! :D
Source: Sapphire Dream Photography

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

I am so great, I am so great na na na na na...

Love does not boast

Try to imagine me singing that in a high-pitched annoying voice. Think, 'younger sibling besting you at cards.' And yes he often beats me at cards.

So beyond my inspiring and insightful title this post stumped me. I read up on boasting in my Bible, did a bit of research and in the end this is what I came up with but feel free to disagree, you know, lovingly ;) 

If one boasts, one implies that one is superior to others. And that's not particularly loving, to make someone feel inferior. It can be done in a cheery, light-hearted manner (think mischievous rather than malicious), as per the title. But I doubt that's what Paul's trying to communicate to the Corinthians. 

"May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Galations 6:14) 

What does this mean? I'm still puzzling it out but my sense is that just as we are saved by faith, and not by works ("so that no one can boast"), I believe "love does not boast" is the same as saying "love is humble." Writing this I feel like that's super obvious and you're wondering when I'm going to get to the point (never! Mwahaha! Wait, is that loving or...?). Grace gives us no room to boast. It's handed to us by God on a cross-shaped platter (did you understand the imagery? DID YOU?!). We don't even have to reach for it, God pretty much puts it in our hand. And thus we return to the age old battle between perfectionism and grace...

Spoilers: grace wins every time.

It's like part of me wants to work hard and reach for some (unattainable) goal or target just so I can say, "Ha! I did it! Me!" (I am the best, I am the best na na na na...). Sounds a bit like boasting huh? So, then, what does its loving counterpart sound like?

I'm actually not sure what it 'sounds' like but I know what it looks like. It's me, finally giving in, at some odd hour of the morning, lying flat on my face before God and saying 'help.' It's laying down my pride, my desire for perfection, and opening myself up to our loving heavenly Father. It is not hiding behind tears and false humilty, or beating myself down. It's submission, no matter how loud that rebellious voice howls. It's everything I'm not but everything that grace allows me to be. I know at heart I'm a rebel but I also know that God loves me anyway. 

In this interpretation, the loving part is not letting boasting interfere with our relationship with God. When I am proud, when I hide part of myself from God, the part that desires to boast in my own abilities, I hurt God. 

Wait? You do what now? 

I hurt God.

Nah, still not getting it.

Yes I don't fully understand it either (for further reading I recommend Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge). However, I am learning, as I grow closer to God, that He wants me to love Him and it hurts Him when I push Him away. For an imperfect comparison, think about how much it hurts when someone you care about distances you emotionally when they're upset. God cares about us and wants to build a relationship with us. Yeah, I'm still struggling to wrap my head around it and I doubt we'll be able to fully appreciate it before this world ends and the New Earth begins. 

P.S. I hope you don't mind my sense of humour and rambling in this post. It's worse when I'm tired!  

Monday, 23 March 2015

The green-eyed monster is sneaky

Love does not envy

This post has been perculating in my mind for a few days. Intially I, somewhat misguidedly, thought that envy wasn't really an issue for me. But the green-eyed monster isn't always obvious. A grumble here, a pang of jealously there and hey presto! You've got yourself a dose of envy.

I realised that a key issue for me at the moment is feeling envious of people who seem to have it all figured out. They're the people who have the next five years of their life planned out, the money and resources to achieve their goals and a heck of a lot of confidence. Meanwhile there's lil' ol' me who decided to major in French and law (nb. Not 'real' law, just an undergraduate course my uni offers) for some unknown reaon and is generally taking things one day at a time and trying not to think too hard about the next few years.

Probably the biggest thing I find myself coveting is the sense of confidence and assurance these people seem to possess. They really do seem to have it all figured out and I don't know how they do it. That little jealous thought of, "Wow, look at them...I wish I was like that. I don't know what I'm doing," seems harmless enough but Paul is pretty clear in his description of love: it does not envy. Not, 'only be envious in these set circumstances' or, 'you really shouldn't but if you have to I guess that's ok.' No, it's black and white: love does not envy.

Therein lies the problem, because I do get envious. So, what can I (we) do about this? Well these little grumblings can become quite habitual and almost ingrained in our thinking. I've found the most useful thing to do, to replace these particularly persistent thoughts, is to respond to them with the truth.

Why is that underlined? I'm glad you asked! It's not just for stylistic flair. If you remember this post, I quoted Jesus saying that he is "the way, the truth and the life." So that's my clever little way of tying the two posts together and reminding you to turn to Jesus for the truth.

I read up a bit on purpose in my Bible because underlying that envy is a sense that I have no purpose, no direction, but 'everyone else' does. However, that's a big, fat lie. I found the passage below quite encouraing:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predetined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified." (Romans 8: 28-30)

It may not be the most obvious choice for a passage about purpose (Jeremiah 29:11 springs to mind) but it stuck in my mind. You may have differents passages that you find particularly helpful (if you're keen to share I'd love to hear it in the comments below!).

What I liked about this passage is that God called me, out of all the billions of people in the world, according to his purpose. So God was purposeful in choosing me, it wasn't just 'luck of the draw.' He also "foreknew" and "predestined" this for my life, wanting me to be "conformed to the image of his Son." That in itself gives each and every Christian a purpose: to be conformed in the image of Jesus. So no matter what I end up doing after I finish at uni I will always have a purpose, according to God's plan and intention. That sure makes my envy look foolish. 

Friday, 20 March 2015

Temporary Break from 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

This post is a temporary break from my study of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. The reason for this is that yesterday I had a visit from the Rejection Monster and it blew my blogging plans out of the water. I talked about rejection in a previous post. We all have different struggles and rejection is one of mine. So, if it's something you find difficult I hope you are encouraged by this post.

Do you ever wake up from a bad dream and can't remember exactly what happened? It's all a little blurry and the only thing that is a abundantly clear is the emotional response the dream provoked. This is how I feel today. The details of yesterday are a little blurry but like a bad dream the feelings remain. There's a certain heaviness and vague sense of feeling a bit 'off.' However they're only feelings.

What?? Only feelings?! Are you mad?

Possibly. But it's true. This is something I have been learning over the past year, something my dad has certainly been trying to teach me for a while. In simple terms the lesson is that, yes, they are only feelings. Feelings do not define your personality, your sense of worth. They can be very strong and very powerful but that doesn't mean they control you. You have a choice. Somtimes that choice may seem very small and very faint but it's still there, glimmering in the darkness. You can make the choice to say 'no' to your feelings and negative thinking because they're not always accurate.

Oh, come on! Now you're telling me my feelings lie to me?? But they're my feelings, I don't lie to myself!

Sure you do. I do it all the time. And it's a choice. I can choose to cling to the truth or to the lies. I can choose to hold on to my feelings and call them 'The Truth' but I think that title is already taken...

"I am the way, the truth and the life."

Jesus is pretty clear here. Hard to argue when it's so obvious (frustrating, I know). Yet still we will twist and turn trying to justify our feelings. Fine, you can do that. You have freedom of will. That's your choice. But understand that you made that choice. It can go the other way as well.

So while my feelings are screaming at me to go back to bed, hide under the covers and ignore the world I'm saying "no." And saying "yes" to life, "yes" to truth and "yes" to God, who whispers so gently that He loves me. And while I scream back at Him that I don't deserve His love I'm almost certain He told me "too bad." And that's the truth. No matter how strong the feeling of rejection is you. are. loved.

Wednesday, 18 March 2015

One of a kind

Love is kind

See what I did there?  With the title?

*crickets chirp*

Hey, it's hard to come up with catchy titles involving the word 'kind.' Let me know if you have a better idea (or a better pun).

So what does it mean to love other through kindness? Well in the past* this has meant me bending over backwards to 'love' others and, at the extreme end, endangering my own mental and emotional health because I'd decided to take everyone else's problems on my shoulders and am being crushed under the weight of a self-imposed obligation.

This not love. This is pride. This is my pride, cleverly hiding behind perfectionism which in turn is lurking behind a self-righteous mask of love. One day, after church, this really hit home. I had a standing obligation with a friend to give her a lift to church. That weekend I also contacted a different friend and invited her to church. She was happy to come (yay! Christian brownie points) but required a lift. Without hesitation I said 'Sure!' and merrily took on this obligation.

Now our car can only fit our family and one other. But I'd invited two friends. Do the math. Unfortunately I don't drive (yeah, it's pretty bad in a country that's not exactly pro public transport) so it would be up to my parents whether they were willing to drive uphill and downdale to get everyone to church. Understandably, they decided against such a plan. What ensued was my pride and perfectionism taking over, under that clever mask of love and kindness, to get both my friends to church.

Why didn't I just listen to dad when he said, "You can only have one." Oh no, that will not do at all! Cried she. I must have both my friends there because I've invited them both and I can't say no now and they need me and they need to be there and I have to love them and, and, and... You get the picture.

I did, however, manage to get both of them to church by arranging a separate lift for the other friend. But this experience had been so draining on me, because of the self-imposed obligation to be 'kind' and 'love' them, that I wasn't even there for them, mentally. I was so stressed and distracted I couldn't really focus on what either of them were saying or how they were really feeling. To top it off I also had to attend a meeting that week after the service, so I had a to rush out with my family and my friend to drop her home and then come back for the meeting. In the meantime my other friend had been taken home and I now had to try and concentrate on the youth leader's meeting.

So it wasn't a great afternoon. As I reflected on the day I felt convicted by God that this had been an issue of pride. God showed me that I had been more concerned about appearing like a good friend rather than actually being one and genuinely loving them. Now that's not to say I'm heartless and don't love my friends, because I truly do and I'm not beating myself up, but I was motivated by my pride, and not godly love i.e. love is kind.

As the author of this website explains, loving others by being kind doesn't mean giving people everything they want and bending over backwards to please everyone. So these days I don't impulsively say 'Sure!' to something before checking what else I have on that day. When the anxious perfectionist voices start ('You have to see them, they're your friend. Aren't you a good friend?') I call their bluff and let them sit in my head and grumble away. I don't have to listen to them, I don't answer to them. Instead I take my thoughts captive to Christ and look to the Lord for the reassurance that I am doing the right thing.

If you ever struggle with worries and thoughts that can become overpowering I recommend this blogpost as well by Eva Bridges (on my computer I have to scroll down for a bit before I actually see the post). I found it encouraging to read that other Christians struggle in this regard and how they can choose to listen to the lies or take the thoughts captive.

Read it here:

*She says while acknowledging that this issue is still somewhat part of the present.

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Running late?

Love is patient

It's not even half an hour into my day and I'm already getting impatient. If anything this just reinforces my need for grace because it seems impossible to express love through constant patience, particularly when I lose something. It doesn't matter if something super important or something relatively inconsequential. As soon as I can't find it the inconvenience drives me absolutely barmy and patience is the furthest thing from my mind. So, clearly losing things is something to bring before God in prayer. Is there something in particular for you that causes the same reaction? Or am I just way too obsessed with the inconvenience of losing something?

In terms of how it affects my ability to love others... Well all you have to do is try to help me find it and our relationship may be at risk. It's bad. Really bad. I don't know what it is but I do know that God will help us through anything if we submit ourselves before Him in prayer!

The other challenge for me today was running late this morning (my fault). At the start of this debacle it wasn't so much impatience as blind panic. I had an unusually long day yesterday and tiredness tends to make emotional difficulties more problematic than usual. 'Oh, I'm running a little late' can rapidly spiral into, 'I don't want to go into uni. I want to go home right now. I can't face anyone.' This hasn't really happened in recent months but as I said, tiredness tends to make me a little more vulnerable.

The strong temptation this morning was to hold onto these thoughts and feelings instead of turning away and going to the Father. Even when a behaviour is bad for us sometimes we like to hold onto them because they are familiar and we feel in control. This sense of control is, I believe, a trap that keeps us away from God. We prefer to lean on our own understanding rather than humbling ourselves before Him and trusting in His promise of a "peace that surpasses all understanding." 

This is a photo of one of the scriptures I regularly declare (in simple terms, 'say aloud'). I keep it near my desk as study's a big "worry" trigger for me.
So, how did this affect my ability to love others? Well on a human level it meant my wonderful father, who dropped me at the train station, received something close to reproach for (supposedly) making me go to uni instead of thankfulness, and distrust when he said I'd be ok (considering he prayed for me as well I had more than enough reason to trust him). On a spiritual level it led to me putting a 'block' between myself and our heavenly Father.

Once again I am reminded of my inability to be perfect. This is a challenging idea for me. Because I cannot meet God's standards He sent His Son for me. I don't have to do anything, nor can I do anything 'good enough' to justify my salvation. To a long-standing perfectionist this doesn't seem to make sense but it is the truth.

God can help me grow in patience but I'll never be perfect. I might have to tell myself that over and over again but I trust that as I grow in my faith in God's grace it will gradually become easier. We are told to "take captive every thought" and this means identifying a wrong thought (wrong as in it's a lie/against what God says) and submitting it to Jesus in prayer. Once again this means swallowing our pride and denying that 'wonderful' sense of control. But it's worth it.

"...the truth will set you free."
(John 8: 32)

Monday, 16 March 2015

Applying 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

In my previous post I cited the ever popular Corinthians passage on what it means to love someone:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

For the next few weeks or so I would like to systematically go through each of the characteristics of love and spend some time reflecting on them and how we can better implement these principles in our lives. I’m using myself as something of a guinea pig for this series (am I a serious enough blogger to have a series??) and I want to see how I actually go about loving people.

Some questions I would like to reflect on, and I’d love any of my readers to join me in this little project, are:
  • Did I love by being (patient, kind, etc) today?
  •  Some examples of when I did
  •  And, because it’s quite likely this will happen, some examples where I didn’t 
  • What made it difficult or challenging to love people in those circumstances? 
  • Is there anything in particular that I’d like to bring before God? For example, did I find myself being patient in most circumstances except when I was running late and why did this cause me to stumble?

Now as I have blogged about perfectionism before I am so totally going to submit myself and this ‘series’ before God. I want to do this so I can share my experiences and hopefully encourage others.  I do not want it to become an episode of ‘MB trying to satisfy her pride by setting ridiculously, unattainable standards for herself.’ Because that’s never fun. Trust me.

Let us do this to glorify God, to decrease ourselves so that the Lord may increase. 

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Loving the unloveable

I started writing this post. Then deleted it. Then started again on a different topic two or three times before finally, inexorably, coming back to my original post. I want to talk about loving people. I spouted some pretty hefty Christian ideals in my "Greetings" post, the primary one being loving and encouraging others. It all sounds so lovely, doesn't it? But it's hard. People aren't perfect and even the most basic of friendships can become difficult. So, how do you love people who aren't exactly easy to love?

I don't really have an answer to that question, I don't have '7 Easy Steps to Loving Everyone All the Time' and I don't think anyone else has figured it out. But I do know someone who did it perfectly: Jesus. Jesus came for the broken, the lost and the needy. He came for you and he came for me. Jesus loved the unloveable.

Throughout the New Testament we see countless examples of Jesus hanging out with the lowest of the low. He consorts with tax collectors (a big 'no-no' for Jews), prostitutes, the sick, demon-possessed and every low life around. And what did he do? Tell them to, "Begone, wretched sinner!" No, he loved them, healed them and set them free to love others in return. 

I'll be honest, a lot of the people Jesus spent time with would make me uncomfortable. I have a hard enough time loving those closest to me, let alone the rejected and forgotten. What makes it so hard? Are we really all that different? Not in God's eyes:

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3: 23)

And for those of us redeemed by grace there's certainly not some hierarchy of Christians! I am not more holy or righteous than any other Child of God: 

"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians 3: 28)

So we're all in the same boat: needing Jesus to set us free and then attaining equality of status in the kingdom of God. However while this can help change our perspective it doesn't give an easy, quick-fix solution to loving the unloveable. Jesus had the advantage of being, well, the Son of God and free from sin. But we too are set free through Jesus' death and resurrection. That doesn't make us perfect, we're still going to stumble, still going to get angry at people and reach a point where loving them is the last thing on our minds (the nearest heavy object and assessing our throwing ability is more immediate)... But no matter how hard it gets remember that Jesus loved the unloveable and instructs his disciples to do the same: 

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13: 34-35)

So what does this mean in practical terms? It means forgiving those who hurt us, being patient when people annoy us, being kind and including others who might otherwise get left on the sidelines. Consider the passage below:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7)

During a sermon at a church I used to attend the speaker suggested an exercise: put your name in the place of "love." Are you patient? Kind? Always? Probably not. But God is love, thus He is all of these things and as we draw closer to His Son we become more and more like this too. This is how we can love the unloveable, through the grace of Jesus Christ. 

"Love never fails" 
(1 Corinthians 13: 8)

Saturday, 14 March 2015

"It's something you'd only understand if you had anxiety"

When you're hurting and the Rejection Monster comes to visit

You could take "anxiety" out of that title and put any number of things in its place: depression; kids; a partner; cancer. And it's true. I don't mind admitting that having never been diagnosed with anxiety I haven't the faintest clue what it's like to live day-to-day life. But those words still stung.

Have you ever used a phrase like that? I have, and when said gently and with kindness it's not necessarily the wrong thing to say. You see it's not the words themselves that stung. Rather it was the rejecting and controlling heart behind it.

Sometimes, when we're hurting, when we're vulnerable and been kicked to the curb our response to love is to lash out. It's something of a defensive mechanism, to control the situation and supposedly stop us from getting hurt but it's wrong, very wrong. I've done it countless times and have been blessed by some very patient and loving people in my life. And a loving Heavenly Father who "never leaves" or "forsakes" me, no matter how many times I tell Him to "go away." Yikes.

So, why is this response wrong? Well because it's often a result of listening to Satan and the lies he whispers in your ear, rather than to the Word of God. That may sound pretty extreme but let me put it into context for you.

Say you've had a rough day at uni or wok, nothing's gone right and you have a pile of work sky high. The guy you were seeing dumped you, your friends aren't answering their phones and nobody seems to care. If you're anything like me it's round about this time that Rejection enters from stage left.

"No one really loves you."

"No one cares."

"You're not worth it."

"Why do you even bother?"

By the time you get home to your family you're in a deep, dark pit of misery. Any attempts at comfort, or even healthy interaction (like, say, "How was your day?"), are met with such crushing rejection (<cue "it's something you'd only understand if you had anxiety" reference>) that it's a wonder they still let you live here.

It's okay to hurt. It's okay to be going through stuff that in all honesty other people can't properly understand unless they've been there themselves. And you can tell them that (GENTLY!). But before you let the Rejection Monster take over and hurt those who love you just stop for a second and take a breath. Consider if your next action will do more harm than good. And remember that the person on the other side does love you, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

We are accepted in the Beloved

Friday, 13 March 2015

"It's got to be-e-e-e-e, yeah, perrrrfect"

It is a source of some amusement that, as a perfectionist, that is one of my favourite songs. For those on the outside the word "perfectionist" is used as a friendly jibe. "Oooo you're such a perfectionist! *tehehe*" But for those of us trapped in our beautifully (except for that slight smudge on the wall over there. Hideous) crafted prisons perfectionism can be debilitating.

Perhaps it would be helpful to put my perfectionism in context. I am a university student, who has lost countless hours of sleep trying to get an assignment juuuust right. I tend towards the creative side of things, and have fallen into despair when I couldn't make that thing exactly the way I wanted to. I am a sister, daughter and friend, who has had several near-meltdowns when I've been unable to make a commitment. I am child of God.

"...for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus" (Romans 3:23-24)

But, I'm not good enough! You may cry (and when I say 'you' we both know I'm talking about me). No, you're not (re-read v. 23 in case there's any confusion).

Ok, so I'll be perfect and then God will love me and the---


"...for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God..."

Let that sink in for a second.

By this point I'm hoping it's abundantly clear that no matter how good your marks are, no matter how fantastic that cake you just made looks, or how good of a friend you think you are it's not enough.

And that's ok.

Ok?! Thats not ok!!!

Oh, but it is.

"For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5: 7-8)

There is nothing you can do to earn God's love. And there is nothing you can do to lose it.

I have this conversation with myself on a near daily basis. The only thing that cuts through the fog and the murk created by these lies I tell myself ('You're not good enough.' 'No one loves you.') is the "sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." (Ephesians 6: 17).

For further reading (especially for any mums out there) I highly recommend "I Must Be Perfect" by Rachel Madden on Devotional Diva. Her honesty and 'realateiblity' (that's a word now) are part of what prompted me to share my experience. You can find the link here.

*Note: None of my friends actually laugh like that. Well, at least, not in public.

Thursday, 12 March 2015


Dear People of the Internet,


We may never meet, or know each other beyond those catchy usernames we come up with but let me introduce myself. My name? It’s not important (<cue Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy clip>). What is important is the goal of this blog. I have been so encouraged in recent months by Christian bloggers sharing their walk with God. The issues covered in these blogs have ranged from mental health to computer game reviews.

You’ve probably picked up a few things about me already. My wonderful sense of humour (and deep and abiding modesty) and my tendency to be somewhat geeky. Wait, don’t leave yet! I’m still cool, promise (mumma always told me not to make promises I couldn’t keep…). However, these fascinating facts are not my true purpose. As I have been encouraged I wish to encourage others in turn.

My prayer is that the words you read here will serve to edify the body of Christ. I believe God works through people, often without said person realising. I believe that it is the Spirit of God and the transformative power of His grace that makes a difference in our lives (it sure has in mine). So, maybe He will use this blog to reach you, maybe He won’t. I honestly don’t know. But it is my hope it will and in either case I trust in God’s love for each and every one of you.

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13: 35)