Monday, 29 June 2015

Sometimes friends let you down. And it sucks.

I don't cope particularly well with disappointment. I don't think feeling disappointed or let down is wrong per se, but I do know that dissolving into a puddle of tears when things go askew isn't always the best reaction. 

I am gradually building my resiliency though and learning to cope more naturally with the ups and downs of life. We will always experience disappointment in this life, we will never be fully satisfied... Otherwise why would we need God? 

Still, when friends let you down it hurts. Sometimes it hurts a lot. And on that note I'd like to share a recent experience with you.

A group of Christian friends from uni had arranged to have dinner and see a movie over our mid-semester break. Naturally this was all organised through Facebook but as I had recently deactivated my account I planned to call one of the invitees prior to the movie. I know right, verbally communicating to organise an event. How quaint.

Anyway I was pleasantly surprised to receive a text from the host, filling me in on the finalised details. I say "surprised" because this particular group of Christians can be a bit hit and miss when it comes to following through and really seeking to love and include others. 

Now I don't know exactly what happened that night. I know I was a little late (my bad) but in the past friends would wait or call to see where you were, or you would call them. I didn't have any credit on my phone (my bad again) and that made things tricky but hey, I had betted on finding my friends and had gotten used to not being plugged into my phone all the time.

My friends were nowhere to be seen. 

Unable to locate them or a payphone I decided to go home. By myself. In the dark. Via public transport.

You get bonus points if you made this face upon reading of my daring antics. 
At this point in the story about a million other things could have gone wrong, beyond the initial (mildly crushing) disappointment of not being able to find my friends. Part of me was questioning my judgement but I prayed and asked God to "help me."

This was a somewhat vague request. Without articulating my thoughts to Him I had various answers to that prayer in mind, including (a) "help me" find my friends, (b) "help me" find a payphone and (c) "help me" not to burst into tears in public and (d), which was becoming increasingly more urgent as I walked to the nearest busstop, "help me" not get into some serious trouble with some unfriendly strangers. 

The Lord heard me and answered my prayer.

The bus arrived shortly and I arrived at the station just in time to catch the next train. Dad even picked me up from the station (I know where the payphones are in my suburb ;)).

The next hour was spent alternating between crying, rationalising with myself, getting angry with God and a mix of all three at once.

I know that might sound really bad but please believe me and all the professionals involved that I am getting better. Even when I feel like my life is a complete mess apparently this is not the case and only my negative perception. Because that's never skewed my perception before... *cough*

So what did I learn from all this? Firstly, I can cope a heck of a lot better with life's curveballs than I could, say, six to twelve months ago. Secondly, the Lord is faithful to me and answered my prayer even if it wasn't exactly the answer I wanted (i.e. find my friends, and have a smashing time despite the intial disappointment). And, as a caveat to the first one, I coped because God was with me. Oh boy did I feel let down by my friends but He didn't leave me. And He never will. 

What about you? Have you had a similar experience? How do you cope with the disappointment? 

Photo credit:
1. Antranias via Pixabay. Public domain.
2. James Vaughan via Flickr. CC license
3.  Kaboompics via Pixabay. Public domain.